Tuesday, September 6, 2011

"Momma don't let your babies grow up..."

AT ALL!!! So we have had a lot of changes around our house this last week. My husband has been going to school at least part time since our first child was less than 3 months old. He has been gone at least two nights but usually 4 nights a week since that time. It took him a little while to know exactly what he wanted to do with his life but he realized he had a love for drafting, did the program at the local technical college at night AFTER working all day to support our quickly growing family. Alas though, a week ago my husband finally finished his last requirement at the DATC! I am so proud of him! Many of men would have given up and said that it was too hard to support a wife and four kids and go to school at the same time but he didn't, he stuck to it and now he finished! Our little Moochie decided that at {almost} 3 1/2 that his is a big boy and will no longer be needing the services of Huggies or his parents to change him several times a day. That is right folks, we now have 2 big boys and only two of our kids still in diapers! Potty training at this age is really the best. I know I had to spend extra money on diapers and time changing them but really who can beat a sit down chat about how it is time to use the toilet and the voila the next day we succeed? He has had one poop accident and one pee accident but it has been almost a week so I can't complain about that one. We officially started out new homeschool routine and now Buddy is officially a kindergartener. But the last change is the one that I am having a hard time with. Today was the first time in over 13 months that I didn't nurse Toop toop and Milzy.

I NEVER thought that I would be able to nurse twins. I remember one of my friends had twins and she was saying how she tried to nurse them but it just wasn't working. I replied, "well, that is better than me! If I ever had twins there is no way in the world I would try to nurse them!" Well, a couple of years later I was now in her shoes and since I had successfully nursed two singletons, I thought that I better give it a try. After my c-section I was so tired though so it was tough. I remember the lactation consultant came into my room and noticed that I had a sore spot on my nipple and mentioned that I must have latched one of the babies wrong. I explained that I had fallen asleep and the babies latch slipped causing the sore. The lactation consultant then stated that it is very hard for c-section mom's to nurse because they fall asleep so easy. I pumped every day and tried to latch the babies everyday but my milk doesn't come in for 5 days postpartum. The nurse sent us home with a lot of formula and I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to nurse. But my milk came in and I "gave it that good 'ol college try." I nursed and pumped. I nursed tandem and single to see which was a better fit. I was so thankful for the experience I had already had to nurse because I knew that I didn't have to have it all figured out and that it might take a little while. If it wasn't working and I ended up giving them a bottle, I just made sure to pump so I could build my milk supply back up. It only took about a week after my milk came in and they were solely nursing! It wasn't too much longer and they wouldn't even take a bottle.

I finally figured out that it worked best for me to nurse individually and I was so thankful that my babies were speed nursers! It only took 20 minutes to nurse both of them. We did it that way for probably about 6 months until they were better at latching and I decided to try to tandem nurse again. That worked great when we were home and I loved that they always reached out for each other and played with each others hands. I loved nursing individually also because it gave me some one on one time with each of them. I love the sitting and rocking that nursing forces you to do and when you are a busy mother, I really needed that.

After being tied down to two babies for over 13 months and having to plan our dates after they went to bed; after being the only one that could give them milk and after breast enlargement, hormone spikes, sore nipples, mastitis, leaky breasts, not to mention all of the biting that one little one did. etc... you would think that tonight I would be throwing a party! Today was the first day I haven't nursed the twins. That is right we are officially weaned. I use to think if I made it 6 weeks I would be so proud. I then set a goal for 3 months, then 6 then 9 and finally a year. But here I am at 13 months and feeling a little blue about the whole thing. I guess those of you that might be reading this, might be thinking, then keep nursing!! And I guess that would be good advice. I read how sad everyone is that is sending their kids off to kindergarten and I keep thinking, then don't! But they do have to grow up don't they? No matter what it is that changes, the changes happen. I didn't feel sad the first night my husband was home or the fist day I went without changing a poopy diaper for Moochie. I am happy at the prospect of having my body back (and hoping to take care of it a little better) for a little while but I guess nursing is one of those things about motherhood that at the time seems like a chore but when you look back, it is really one of those things that allows you to have sweet special moments with you babies and I hope that those tender moments aren't forgotten. (But I also hope that I don't dwell solely on those and then in turn tell every young mother how this is the best time of their lives and that they should enjoy every moment and thereby making all young mothers around me feel guilty because sometimes it doesn't feel like the best time of their lives. I hope I don't forget how hard it is some days and think poorly of a mom with young kids that loses her patience with them. I hope I always compliment mother's with little kids instead of telling them how I would do it if I were them thereby telling them that they are doing it all wrong... just sayin'!)
*Disclaimer: I hope that no one reads this and feels guilty in any way if the didn't/couldn't/or chose not to nurse. I know it is very hard and for some people it  just doesn't work! It is a very private decision- I just feel though that it is my right to express how I feel at the close of this chapter in my life.


  1. Changes are good, right? I always hope so! I commend you Tiffany for your efforts. I am inspired by them. I'm excited for this new blog and all that you will be sharing! I love(d) your old blog too! :) :)

  2. What a bittersweet time. Getting yourself back but at the same time, not getting the same one on one time. I have the same problem, but with one baby. (Having to schedule everything around her, not being able to do anything while I'm feeding her, loving the one on one time, etc.)

  3. Wow, congrats on all the changes!! Here's to a new exciting chapter of independance!


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