Friday, April 1, 2016

There is just something about mission friends

Tonight I went to a mission reunion. I loved that all of the kids were invited. My kids bonded with the kids of some of the people I love the most. My mission was for sure the best thing I did for myself to prepare me for motherhood and the rest of my life. These are the people that I laughed with, cried with, prayed with, prayed for while I was doing the hardest work I had ever done (before becoming a mother.) We bonded over shared experiences and our love for the same people. Time has marched on and a lot of memories have faded, but getting together with past missionaries brings a lot of the memories flooding back. 

I didn't know very many people there tonight, I only recognized one elder and then a few sisters and I keep in contact with anyway came. Oh, but it still was great to set aside a time to rejoice in the work we did together years ago. Sometimes it is hard to come face to face with the mistakes you made, but it reminds us how human we are. Hopefully we realize how much we have all matured. 

I loved my mission and highly recommend it to everyone. In the end, it happens to be a lot more about how the people and the mission changed you than about anything you really did out there. I love Montana!

Dear Max, on your 8th birthday

Tonight I find myself pondering what I want you to know today on your 8th birthday. I want you to know how incredibly lucky I feel to be your mom. I have spent some time looking through old pictures of you today. 

Old is such a funny term since none of these pictures feel old to me Max. You still feel very new to me as in the time since your birth seems to have passed in a flash. At the same time it feels as if you have always been a part of my life, and I can't imagine this world without you in it. This is something you will probably hear me say a million times during your life. It is something that you can't begin to understand until you have your own children, and you get a chance to watch them grow.

As I have been looking through these old pictures, My heart has felt like it was going to burst. I have have looked at the incredible boy that you are. I have enjoyed reliving some of the fun memories that we have together. Most of all I have enjoyed remembering who you are. I can't wait to continue to watch you grow as you become the person that you were put here on this earth to become.

Max, you mind will never cease to amaze me. I love watching you think, invent, create, and imagine everything and anything. You are loving and kind, but never ask for any attention. Your thought process is unique and fascinating to me. I feel really blessed that I get to homeschool you and watch those thoughts progress.

I am really excited that you made the decision to get baptized. Believing in God and going to church has always been easy for you. I love that you are always eager to go to class and be a part of everything. 

Most of all, I want you to know that you bring me great joy Max. You are an important part of our family. I am so thankful that you are part of us. I believe that you chose to be part of this family, and so I am so thankful that you did! I love you so much Max!

Monday, March 28, 2016

Working Mothers

I just first want to say hats off to every working mother out there. I don't even care if they "chose" this or if you "need" to work. Truth is, what they do is very hard. Today I worked outside of the home. I work on a VERY part time basis for the charter school where my kids have their homeschool program. I admit that I love it. I love teaching the children. This has been the first time I have worked outside the home since Turner was born. This week I am doing a lot of subbing and so it feels a lot more like being a full time real working mother. I am so glad that I still get to take my children with me. It is exhausting to work full time and then come home and have laundry, dinner, house work all waiting for you. It just is hard and I am amazed by all of you that do that everyday. 

I find it interesting in this crazy world that there is such a competition about what is "harder." Like if what you do is harder than you are a better person than I am. I see this all the time among mothers. Trying to battle the "being a stay-at-home" mom is harder than working or vice versa. Why do we only find our worth in doing hard things? I honestly have to say that I am the expert on making life harder than it needs to be, but I come by this organically and am grateful that I don't feel the need to do it to prove something. 

I am very thankful that I get to stay home with my family. I use to cringe when people said things like that to me, "oh you are so lucky that you get to stay home with your children." I cringed because I didn't think it was a fair thing to say to me. I work very hard to stay home. Our income isn't such that staying home is a luxury. In order to stay home I have had to learn how to garden, can, shop at the thrift and do without. I scrimp and cut corners and stretch wherever I can. Yet, I have learned that I have been very blessed by these experiences and for that I am so thankful that I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home with them, or take them to work with me when the need arises for me to be a working lady. 

I am also thankful to know that God loves all of us crazy mommas that are just trying our best everyday to love and take care of the little spirits He gave us. Hats off to all of us!

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Easter Sunday

What I want my children to know about today:

I love Easter! I love spring! I love new life, warm sun, blooming flowers and buzzing bees. I love dying Easter eggs and jelly beans. I love new Easter dresses and fancy meals with family. I love family.

It is because I love family, I know that heaven wouldn't seem like heaven without my family near. I am so thankful for Easter. It is because of Easter that eternal families can even be. See, Jesus died for you, and for me. He died that we could be make whole again. He died that we could repent and become better. Jesus felt our pain, He felt our sorrow, He is the only one that can even know our own unique and individual pain. It is because of this, we can go to Him and know that He understands exactly what we are going through. Not kinda, but completely.
I can not even began to understand how the Savior could have accomplished such a task, all I know is that I believe He did, and for that I am truly grateful. Believing didn't come easy to me. My testimony has been fought for and continually is held onto by deep, passionate prayer, scripture study, song, temple attendance, church attendance and by making the choice to believe over and over again.
I do believe though, and because I do, I have seen miracles in my life. I have felt my Savior's love. I have felt His arms around me when I needed to. I have witnessed miracles in the life of those around me. I have watched as people have been those miracles to each other.
I love my Savior. He truly is real to me. He is as real as any other long distance friend that I have. I can't see them, but I communicate with them. Maybe it isn't through text, phone, or face time that I communicate with my Savior. The modes are different, but just as real.
I know that He died, and was resurrected. That is what I want you to know today my sweet children, that I believe. I love Him. Because of Him, we get to be an eternal family. For that I am so deeply grateful.