I use to blend in with the crowd. Having a couple of kids,even close together, was nothing that separated me from the rest of the young moms around here. I could go into a store, grab whatever I needed, and leave without muttering so much as a "yes" when the cashier asked if I found everything I needed. That all changed when I had twins--I like it. Even though it makes going to the store a much longer trip, I enjoy that people talk to me. I enjoy human interaction and some days I don't feel like I get enough, at least of the adult kind. Of course it isn't always at the most convenient time and people usually say the same things. Number one comment I hear on a daily basis is "you sure have your hands full." Second is "I don't know how you do it!"
When the twins were first born I hated that second comment. In my sleep deprived, shower destitute state I wanted to shout "I am not doing it! Don't you see? I am failing at this!" The thoughts of my fridge that hadn't been wiped out for months and dirty laundry scattered through my house rang in my mind. Couldn't they see that I wasn't cut out for this life? In my opinion there were scads of women who were tougher than me, more organized, more on the ball. Was there something amiss in God's algorithm? Yet, I truly know that it isn't some algorithm that God puts in a bunch of numbers and life just happens. He knows me.
The women who have harder things to deal with are copious. There are trials of strength for all of us--and we must all figure out how to succeed. Sometimes I wonder, if I succeed at my trials, will it help someone else have the courage to succeed at theirs?
So now I answer people honestly when they ask me how I do it all. Maybe they aren't truly asking. I am sure most don't want to know, but if you are willing to comment on my life then you better be willing to have me comment back! The two answers I usually give now are 1) Prayer or 2) The grace of God. The bible dictionary, contained in the LDS printing of the King James version of the bible, defines grace as: "... through the grace of the Lord...individuals,..., receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means." The first time I read that, I instantly knew how I have been able to get through my life to this point!
I have gained a new favorite scripture through this last year and a half, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13) The thing is, God doesn't give us our different trials because he wants to see us fail. He doesn't want us to have a miserable life! Is life hard? YES! Are there days that seem impossible to bear? I would venture to say that there are days completely, relying our own mortal abilities, impossible to bear. That is when we turn to God, plead for his Grace, and rely on His strength.
I guess this was on my mind this morning because I was praying this morning and asking God to direct my path at this time. He gently reminded me that he has already told me what I need to be doing right now. I again reminded Him that I don't know how it will work.I then got off my knees, flipped through my triple combination (a set of books containing The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price, or "The Mormon Books!") and it opened to a well loved verse: "Wherefore, lift up your hears and rejoice
, and gird up your loins
, and take upon you my whole armor
, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, having done all, that ye may be able to stand." (D&C 27:15) I love that the FIRST thing He asks us to do is to rejoice! No matter how hard the task, we have reasons to rejoice! My little reasons just woke up so I think I will go be a Mommy now. I hope we all can find reasons to rejoice, no matter how hard the lessons of learning are today!