Friday, December 14, 2012


          S.A.D. stands for seasonal affect disorder. I tend to struggle with SAD quite a bit during the winter if I don't make efforts, and strides to combat the disorder. If your not familiar with SAD, it is also referred to as the winter blues. Basically winter time depression. So I am use to feeling sad at this time of year, but there have been a couple of things the last couple of days that have made me really sad, and wondering why it feels like the world is spiraling down fast.
          The first thing was the announcement of "wear pants to church" for feminist-Mormon women. Am I sad that they are going to wear pants to church on Sunday? No. I could really care less about what they wear to church. There is no guidelines set out by the church about what to wear except that it be your best. If that is their best, then by all means wear it. What was sad to me is that they are protesting the fact that they feel like they are inferior to men, and that the church culture is to blame for it. I am sad that that they don't have a testimony of womanhood.
           I have to admit that I was one of they women. I grew up with four older brothers whom I looked up to fiercely. I loved them and wanted to be just like them. I remember one day, as I was on a walk with my mom, asking my mother if she ever wished that she had been born a boy. She quickly said that she was glad that she was a woman, and never wanted to be a boy. I was surprised  I thought that every girl had gotten the short end of the stick. I went on a mission still wondering why I had to be a girl. It was on my mission that I gained a strong testimony of womanhood. I had been praying to understand why God had made a "lesser sex," and why I had to be one of them.
         The answer came when I was teaching a woman named Leah. She asked why women weren't allowed to hold the priesthood. Without thinking, the words were given to me, and I asked her, "who comforted you when you were sick?" She answered that her mother did. I explained that the priesthood allowed men to also have power to comfort their children in time of need by giving them a priesthood blessing. The idea had never occurred to me that the priesthood made men equal to women!
           Shortly after that discussion I attended the yearly General Relief Society broadcast. James E. Faust spoke of what womanhood means. In his talk he stated, "As daughters of God, you cannot imagine the divine potential within each of you. Surely the secret citadel of women’s inner strength is spirituality. In this you equal and even surpass men, as you do in faith, morality, and commitment when truly converted to the gospel. You have “more trust in the Lord [and] more hope in his word.” 15 This inner spiritual sense seems to give you a certain resilience to cope with sorrow, trouble, and uncertainty."  And he also said, " In His infinite wisdom, the Lord requires worthy brethren to wear the mantle of the priesthood in order to enter the temple, but He permits the sisters to enter solely by virtue of their personal worthiness."
          To quote a famous lady, "“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” 
                                               ― Marilyn Monroe
          I don't look up to Marilyn Monroe but I do like this quote. We shouldn't try to be equal to men, for that is setting our sights too low! There isn't a "place for us" in Gods church--it would cease to exist without us! I am not bashing on men. I feel that God loves us both in our separate callings in this world. We all have a part to play, and it isn't the same part! I believe that femininity is beautiful to God. I believe that he rejoices in women that love who they are, and glory in womanhood.  I just hope that some of these ladies who are hurt can find that testimony. 
          Of course the second thing that mad me sad was the shootings in Connecticut today. I don't have a lot to say on it. It is just plain sad. Yet I found a lot of comfort in this image by David Bowman. 
            I also found solace in the beloved Christmas hymn: "    
‎"And in despair I bowed my head: 
'There is no peace on earth,' I said. 
'For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth good will to men.'
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; 
the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, goodwill to men."   
         I find a lot of peace in knowing that there will be peace on earth again. I love my Savior. I am thankful that He is there with open arms, welcoming those children into His rest. I am grateful for the reminder that to hug my children tight and kiss them a little longer. My heart is aching for all of those parents. 
         So even though I may be sad, I rejoice in the Lord! I am grateful that He can offer peace even through trial. I am so thankful that I have this knowledge.


  1. I have no words for what happened today.
    But, I am thankful you shared that image.

  2. You have the best thoughts and observations! I had never considered the idea that the priesthood made men equal to womem, but I love that. I've always thought that, as women, we are naturally inclined to help and serve others. We will wear ourselves out in doing so, putting the needs of many others above our own. The Priesthood is the motivator for men to help and serve others, which doesn't come naturally to them. I, too, feel sad for those women who feel slighted because they are female. I fond myself happy and completely satisfied in my roles as a woman. There is no greater power than to give life and then, for the rest of your life, sustain and shape that life.

  3. Sorry, Tiffany (I know, I've never called you that, but I can't go around calling you Sister Mangum, now can I?) I don't buy that either women are by nature superior (and thus men need the priesthood to compensate) or that men are superior (either because they have the priesthood or that the priesthood is given to them because they are superior). We are children of God.
    To me, the reason why the pants event was born was to help those who may have felt marginalized by the culture to recognize each other and gain solace and fellowship by the recognition. Not as a protest, but as a way of saying "We are here. We are together." None of the women I know who were participating feel slighted because they are female. They have no desire to be men. But the resulting backlash, I think, demonstrates just how far we as a church still have to go in demonstrating the pure love of Christ to others. No matter what they are wearing, everyone should be welcomed in and made to feel they are loved.

  4. I agree that women are not superior to men, and that men are not superior to men. I guess the way I wrote this post, it probably seemed that is what the conclusion to my epiphany meant, but it wasn't my intention to marginalize men. I also agree that EVERYONE should be accepted and loved no matter what they wear. I hope that was clear. My point was that it is sad to me that women feel the need to dress in "traditional male clothing" to "be heard." I think that God rejoices in femininity. I am glad to know that no matter how others view me or how others treat me, I have my own personal relationship with God that goes beyond the culture of the LDS church. We all feel alone in one way or another at differnt times. We think that no one knows how our hearts feel. The truth is that the Lord is the ONLY ONE that knows EXACTLY how we feel. Dressing differently to gain attention won't bring the peace that time spent in prayer with the Savior will. I just hope all of these women are doing that too.

  5. That was beautiful. I loved the quote about women going to the temple based on who they are. I hope you're able to keep yourself happy this Christmas season.

  6. Tiffany,

    You voiced everything that was in my heart....E.X.A.C.T.L.Y.

    I love love that quote you found, we as women have the power of the angels, or are angels when living up to our virtue, how could we mock it by dressing like men, unless of course we don't understand that doctrine yet?

    How sad is the tragedy this year? Riley and I want to be much more attentive to the families of such victims during the holidays, too, those that may not have happened on such a large scale. I believe as you mourn for them, you also help to bear their burdens, its what my sister taught me in her empathy for them.

    That very verse clanged in my mind with the song, there is no peace on earth...yet that there is peace on earth in the Savior.

    This winter post Christmas spell, my sister decided she wanted space from me and thinks I love her with contingencies, perhaps because I voiced my feelings of the godliness of women wearing dresses to church on face book? Perhaps I remind her too much of my spiritual Dad who had his affair and desperately wants everyone to still see him as spiritual? So much goes into it.

    And today, I realize God has prepared me not to take it personally. With uncomfortable trials before in my life, I can realize there is a reason for the pain and lonliness and un-appreciation, disdain I felt. I can be happy in letting myself feel God's love.

    I would love to cozy up with you Tiff and watch that shut in scene you posted on FB with the awesomest movie 7 brides for 7 brothers.

    You are such a kindred spirit. Thanks for this post. Mine was so light hearted in my blog, but this, this is everything I really feel. Thank you for voicing it.

    love, Emily


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