Monday, January 18, 2016


I haven't written in a very long time. It use to be my go to method of therapy, creativity, and recreation. It seems to have all disappeared lately. I have never felt like I was a skilled writer, but I did once have a passion for it. I don't crave the typing of the keys anymore. I know that I have felt this way in the past when I have had babies before. I firmly believe that people, most people, have a need to create. I feel like that is something that is born in us. I feel like my children sometimes feel the need to create messes, but create nonetheless. When I am creating life, it seems like that fills my need to create. Even when I am creating milk for that said life, I don't yearn to create. I am sure that isn't the same for everyone, I know plenty of pregnant and or nursing mothers that produce amazing creations, it just isn't in me. It isn't surprising that I take life at a much more gentle speed. I don't fill my calendar, I don't multi-task. I am a focus on one thing at a time kind of gal. When my body is creating another human, or making milk for a baby, I have no other focus.

I weaned B about a month ago. As of now, we feel that she is our last. It is a bitter sweet moment when you think about those years being in the past. I get prenatal and postpartum depression, so it is always a relief to me when it is over, yet it also makes me sad. Sad, but not crazy--so that is a step in the right direction. I thought the yearning to write would automatically come back to me. I thought that my fingers would itch to dance on the keys, it hasn't come. My brain doesn't make sentences the way it use to, I wonder if it will come back?

For now I have many pictures to post to get caught up. I have some gems I don't want to disappear from our family history from this past year. I just hope that words come back to me...

"God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged and the forests unfelled and the cities unbuilt. God gives to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of finished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that man might know the joys and glories of creation." --Thomas S. Monson

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