Thursday, July 12, 2012

Liver Logs

Not sure if "Liver logs" sounds gross or not. I was going for alliteration--Liver diaries might be better though! So my dear readers (the thousands of you out there.) You may remember me alluding to my health problems earlier in the year. I may have even mentioned that it was my liver. Well, I was suppose to go into the Dr. after 3 months to see how I was doing. I was doing much better after 3 months! I called over a month ago to get an appointment, and they couldn't get me in until today. (It has been close to 6 months by now.) I am nervous! I have never been so nervous for a doctors appointment in my life!

See the thing is, I did really good right after my diagnosis. I worked out everyday, I ate lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, I drank a lot of water. I did liver cleanses, juice cleanses, research on the internet, daily prayer for my condition etc... and then I started to feel better! Of course I was feeling better--I was doing what I was suppose to!

Yet things got busy, money got short (I stopped teaching preschool), and I got forgetful. I stopped doing everything that I was suppose to! It took a while, but I have started feeling crappy again the last couple of weeks. Just in time for me to go to the doctor. I feel so defeated. I am sure that he is going to think that I haven't done anything!

It just reminds me of the Book of Mormon where they mention (A LOT) to remember. How do we remember? I am thinking that it takes a lot of practice to remember everything we are suppose to. I am hoping that with learning to remember, we forget a lot in the beginning. There are some things in my life that I have dramatically changed, so I know change is possible. Taking care of myself though, is a huge weakness of mine, one that I have been trying to "remember" to do for a long long time. 

I guess I just get frustrated because I actually eat better than most Americans.  I exercise more than most Americans. My body just requires A LOT of attention I guess. Yet people look at my size and think--this is what is wrong with America. To look at me, you would think that I eat a ton of processed foods, and sit around and watch TV all the time. Truth is, I log way less then the 2 hour recommendation. I probably only watch 2 hours a week! Although I am on the computer a lot. I rarely eat anything processed. I make most of my food from scratch, using mostly (read 90% of the time) whole wheat and honey instead of white flour and sugar. 

I read a lot of health food blogs,. and get so sick of the rants of thin people that walk around "disgusted by the obesity epidemic." They see overweight people and just know that don't care about their health. I read Facebook--I know what my friends eat for dinner. I know what physical fitness efforts they make. So if you are blessed to be thin, even if you struggle with those "10 extra pounds." Please don't judge me because of how I look. Or anyone else for that matter. Truth is, most people don't want to be overweight. We are because something is broken--physically or emotionally. We aren't stupid or lazy. If you want to see how "lazy" we are-- try putting on 100 pounds of weights and walk across the room. Okay, enough of that rant! (Sorry, I guess that was bottling up for a while)

Anyway, I hope we all can take care of ourselves today. I am! I am going to the doctor, even though I don't want to. What do you do to "remember?" How do we change what needs to be fixed in our lives? Not all you struggle with liver disease, or being overweight. Yet I am confident that everyone struggles with something. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle. So any help or encouragement that you have would be greatly appreciated!


  1. Tiffy,

    xx. I know I had an offensive post recently, on facebook about obesity, by my brother and law and then by me, but I wanted you to know that I really want my Riley to eat he can be with me.

    Something I've always known about you Tiff is that you don't eat any more if not way less than I eat.

    I can seriously relate in skin. Do you know how ignorant people are of pimples? My room mate in college seriously thought that people with zits never washed their faces! People would always tell me what they did to keep their crystal clear skin...all except that they were given crystal clear skin genes from God.

    I really love your thoughts on remembering. It reminds me I was told by my mission president, to remember.
    I am going through an identity crisis of some sorts right now in how I perceive my family sees me. I want really badly to leave the natural man behind. How can I leave behind the natural man without putting back my mantle of pride too soon and forget how much I always need the Lord? But without crying every half hour of the day? You know? Well anyways. I love you and wish you the best and I say...GREAT job on using wheat and honey...keep up the great work!!!
    The world does worship image thats for sure. I am sorry for that. Good luck on that liver of yours. You are a beautiful woman Tiffany inside and out.

  2. Tiff.... this post touches very close to what I and many of my friends go through on a daily basis. There are a few of us that deal with one form of autoimmune disease or another. I have Hashimoto's. My body attacks it's own thyroid. I have been incredibly blessed not to have to deal with a lot of weight. I don't know how I have been so blessed. I still have weight to control, lose, whatever, but after seeing what my mom dealt with for so long, I know I am blessed.

    My struggle is in exercise. Because my disease attacks my thyroid, my metabolism is shot most of the time. No matter how healthy I eat (quite similar to you actually), diet doesn't help. In fact, my metabolism sets in part of the time if I try to diet and I end up on a binge quite regularly. So I try very hard to maintain the "word of wisdom diet" as it has been known in my house.

    When I have an attack, my body shuts down. I have no energy. I barely get out of bed. And I forget what I need to do to keep going. It is so hard to be able to do one thing, like go on a 25-mile bike ride and feel great afterwards, to walk around the block and feel completely exhausted. It. Just. SUCKS! So, I finally realize, AGAIN, what I need to do, and start back at square one. Walk a mile. Walk two miles. Speed walk three miles... and so on.

    I don't know if I will ever lose the 30 pounds that keeps me in the overweight category on my doctor's charts. But if I can keep my heart strong and keep my body moving so I can enjoy life with my kids, I feel I will be blessed, as will my family.

    My mom died at age 67. She had multiple heart conditions, sclerosis(?) of the liver, thyroid complications, kidney issues, etc., etc., etc. Before she passed away I was on the right path with my family. Now, I am almost fanatic. And I don't care. As long as I know my family is getting what they need to lead strong, healthy lives, and overcome the genetic issues that are stored in reserve, I am happy.

    Sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job, Tiffany. Thank you for posting this. And keep up what you are doing!!


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